Thursday, 17 February 2011

Do you have to pass an exam to become a gp?

Went to the doctors today with stomach ache. Was offered pain relief. Urm I am in withdrawal? Why would you give me the same darn pain killers???

Thursday, 10 February 2011

New year update

Well its a been a while and things are slowly moving forward.
My biggest goal at the moment is come off the pain killers. I am fed up of being addicted to tramadol. I always took more than I was prescribed - telling myself I had been on them so long I had built up a tolerance. The withdrawal is slow torture. I reduce by one tablet a week and instead of the dramatic cold turkey I went through last summer its a more dragged out but slightly manageable process.

The physical withdrawal symptoms are stomach cramps, nausea, diarrhoea,  night terrors and cold sweats. This has been going on for a few months now as I slowly reduce the amounts of medication. The emotional effects are much harder to deal with. The anxiety is incredible and I dont how to control it. I have to visit my friend to get me through those days. You definitely need support to come through this. I have a very good friend who I ring and see daily to get me over the anxious hours, the sad hours, the lonely hours and the angry hours. I couldn't have coped without her.

As each tablet is dropped the pain has also increased. Not just along the pubic bone but around the curve in my spine and the across the left SI joints.
I am determined to continue, I would rather the pain now then the medication. Who knows, maybe I can manage this level of pain. Its certainly easier than it was pre op.
My only other real discomfort is lack of sleep, if I manage to drop off to sleep I often wake with nightmares or I stay awake at all hours because I cant get comfortable. I am shattered!