One step back

Its frustrating. its saddening and damn right maddening.
Many years ago one of the physios I was seeing spoke to me about applying for disability allowance and disability benefits. At the time I was a little offended. I was so stubborn that this was not a permanent thing that I would get better. This week has been a bit of a shock. It appears that the new pain down my left hand side from back to knee is from a group of muscles working too hard to compensate for the fact that some of my pelvic muscles just dont work. The fear is that this is permanent that where the msucles have been cut through for surgery some have not reattached and no longer work. There is nothing that can be done if that is the case, and although I am in less pain then I was pre surgery and I am happy about that. I would be left disabled and in need of at least one stick permanently. Not so hard to swallow to be honest. Out of all this I have a beautiful daughter. Had I become injured in a car accident I would no doubt find it harder to take. What I do find frustrating is the ridiculous system in place tryign to get disability benefits etc. Its a red taped different world of jargon and reason I can't understand. I kind of wish I had done it all years ago - I certainly would be much better off. I am not particularly good at beign pc so I may offend some people with this. But how can I be disabled. I have only had a baby - almost five years ago. A perfectly nautral act that occurs every day. How has it left me like this.
How do I get benefits? Do I bother? Well yes the money woudl be nice but am I morally entitled to it? I haven't done anythign spectaculor. I haven't been out defending my country on the streets, I haven't been protecting my country and others fighting with sub standard equipment, do I deserve this?

Oh my aching bum - spd 5 months post surgery

Well as the title suggests I am now 5 months post op.  I could not have imagined how much hard work it has taken to get here, the ups and downs, the lows and highs - literally, and the feeling of pride when I see how far I have come.
I have suffered with spd or pgp for five years.  I have put on weight which was incredibly depressing.  I had to give up my beloved tae kwon do which not only meant losing my fitness but I lost many friends through this too as we no longer had things in common and to be honest I think I scared of them. I struggled to keep up with my daughter who seemed to grow in leaps and bounds in the blink of an eye and my relationship with my husband has certainly  been tested.
Today I can see a future though. I have lost 3 stone since the surgery and am so close to my pre pregnancy weight I am delighted. I know longer have the dull ache in my back and hip that radiates from the pubic bone and I can sleep pretty much through the night without having to wake for pain killers. None of these things I would have been able to do without the operation.
I am still in some pain - and worryingly some of it is a new pain. It runs from the inside of my groin round to my left buttock and down the left thigh bone. I have no idea what it is and my physio and hydro therapists are hoping its just due to increased exercise. The plan is to see if it subsides in time. I am back seeing my wonderful surgeon on the 3rd November and I can't wait for him to put my mind at rest on the latest pain. Whatever it is though I am sure I am better off now than I was.